São noites como essa sempre me propuseram situações bem indiscretas.
O Rio soprando esse ar quente característico e lá em cima essa lua de arrebentar qualquer peito canceriano.
Arrebentar, como assim arrebentar?
O certo seria irromper. Irromper nos pensamentos, nos desejos. Na imensa cobiça de uivar desesperadamente como uma das personagens de Dias Gomes nas ruas de suas cidades imaginárias.
Cidades que contam com dirigentes libidinosos, românticos incorrigíveis, viúvas fogosas, solteironas desvairadas e também com solitários que tentam loucamente caçar sonhos e amores em suas redes vazadas.
Nem sei por que essas imagens me tomam de assalto nesse momento que a única imagem que vejo é de medo profundo e absoluta perplexidade da fragilidade que me cabe nessa noite que anseia por meus uivos e que a respondo com meus ais.
Medo? Ais? Calma, quem é essa que me assombra?
Qual Lúcia é essa que me invade sem licença e desavergonhadamente me despudora?
Despudor é esse desperdício. Esse não saber irromper.
Romper irracionalmente. Será essa a verdadeira tradução para irromper?
Mergulhar sem perdão e senão, num mar desconhecido e mesmo se sabendo estúpida, ter a coragem de dizer “o faço por amor”.
Pena de quem não irrompe por amor, daquele que não enfrenta o pavor de se saber vulnerável e que não teme o ridículo.
Ah! Meu Pessoa, me ajude repetindo como num mantra que cartas de amor, se há amor, são mesmo ridículas. E responderei prontamente, como minha memória ainda não me traiu
“Mas, afinal,
Só as criaturas que nunca escreveram
Cartas de amor
É que são
Ridículas.”
Como dei conta tardiamente que abortei não só cartas de amor, mas o amor.
Por ter me preenchido de tanto amor, me derramei em não uivos.
E assim sendo, me dei conta da enorme falta que hoje, com essa lua praticamente agressiva, está fazendo os uivos que deixei de uivar e que em mim, agora, se fazem ais.
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