Sabe meu amor, você tem razão ao dizer que sempre temos que a cada adversidade, nos esforçarmos para nos adaptarmos as nossas diferenças que sempre serão grandes e aplicar mais esforços para fazer dar certo. Acho lindo quando você diz isso. Pra mim já soa como um investimento real.
Não posso dizer que são as nossas que são grandes, posto que qualquer casal tem diferenças imensas, afinal nem digitais chegam perto.
Evidente que para nos interessarmos por alguém, essa pessoa tem que ter alguns pontos em comum, alias, sempre achamos milhares de coisas em comum e isso é justo o que nos leva a investir numa nova relação. E a cada dia que passa essas verossimilhanças ficam cada vez mais fortes e na mesma proporção, são descobertas as diferenças que irão nos incomodar.
Daí surgem os afastamentos e a cada novo distanciamento, as pequenas brigas, desavenças, discussões por banalidades, telefones desligados com raiva, joguinhos de quem vai ligar primeiro, mal humores sentidos na voz, o toque fica cheio de não me toques…
Todas as vezes em que penso em todas as nossas diferenças, elas parecem que tomam uma proporção imensurável, a ponto de me tentar a por um ponto final definitivo. A me oferecer a escolha de um olhar para o lado, de me atrever a tomar novo caminho.
Impressionante como o Universo conspira a favor. Seja a favor de qualquer coisa.
Ou a favor do ficar junto, tanto quanto a favor da separação. E começa um horda de figuras atrás de mim, como de você.
Natural. Que belo exemplares somos, não?! Sempre capazes de despertar paixões por aí.
E quando estou mais do que convencida de que os caminhos enfim separaram-se de vez, tomo susto com sua chegada sem avisar, com passos mansos e inaudíveis. Sorriso sem graça, olhar de criança travessa.
Sou dura, eu sei, mas não tem como não amolecer ao seu olhar, ao seu cheiro quando me abraça e reclama “quer fazer o favor de abraçar também?! Abraço só é bom quando os dois abraçam”.
E essas voltas são devastadoras, pois têm um efeito bombástico nas decisões.
E passo a olhar cada pelo em contramão que seu corpo exibe, cada trejeito de animal no cio que você apresenta descaradamente e assim sendo, todo o feromônio que invade, sem perdão, todo ar que passa a me faltar. Passo a sentir o quanto as paredes ficam estreitas e como passamos a invadir o espaço sideral naqueles vôos e quedas em buracos negros deliciosos.
As bocas secas e geladas, os cabelos e lençóis encharcados, as mãos que apertam, esfregam, batem, soltam e buscam novamente, os joelhos que dobram as pernas que retesam com ventres que amolecem em…
E basta você chegar.
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