NUNCA MAIS

Nunca mais é exatamente igual a para sempre, os dois são tempo para caral…

Quando ouço nunca mais quero ver você na minha vida eu sempre respondo, nunca é tempo pra caral…

O mesmo digo quando me falam eu vou te amar dessa forma para sempre. Olha, presta atenção, que para sempre é tempo pra caral…

Somos, diversas vezes, nas nossas vidas muito radicais.

O que fazer então quando a mágoa vem, avassaladora, para dentro das suas entranhas e a única solução que nos resta é o radicalismo. Nunca mais quero, sequer, pensar em você.

Ah! Como seria maravilhoso se pudéssemos tomar a decisão e ela ser aceita como um comando dado ao interruptor de luz do ambiente que NUNCA MAIS verá aquele ser tão amado.

E como seria genial se conseguíssemos, no auge da paixão decidir que PARA SEMPRE vou te amar da forma como estou amando agora.

Seria fantástico conseguir que a rotina, as chateações adquiridas no trabalho, na rua ou mesmo dentro de casa não lixassem o verniz das relações.

Que mantivéssemos as inseguranças e ciúmes longe dos nossos corações como se tivéssemos um escudo próprio para afastar esses percalços.

Existem casais que conseguem sucesso na sua empreitada, mas a maioria se perde.

A dor que os grandes amores provocam são as que mais se encaixam nos perfis de NUNCA MAIS e PARA SEMPRE.

Eu, habitualmente, sou colocada em cheque já que tenho o péssimo costume de valorizar em demasia pessoas e situações que acontecem na minha vida.

Tenho a impressão que fantasio demais.

Na verdade, creio que tenho uma visão distorcida da importância que as coisas realmente têm.

Isso não é nada mal para quem gosta de escrever, mas é muito complicado no dia a dia, naquela vida “real” que tenho que viver.

Isso se dá em amizades, relações profissionais e amores. Em tudo que me circunda.

Já cri que tive um grande amor e que era correspondido na mesma intensidade até perceber que eu não ocupava o mesmo espaço que ocupavam em mim, que nem uma palavra amiga poderia ser dividida depois de tudo.

Tive amizade de uma vida inteira que eu tinha certeza que a lealdade era a nossa bandeira e nem a data do meu aniversário era lembrado.

Já julguei ter feito trabalhos de uma importância na minha carreira que nem mais é lembrado por quem até trabalhou comigo. E percebi diversas vezes que o mesmo acontece ao contrário.

Enfim, como já me equivoquei.

Como já utilizei as duas expressões e como já voltei atrás, milhares de vezes.

Tem um samba que o Zeca Pagodinho canta que eu sou completamente apaixonada. Fala assim: estou louco de saudade que é louca por você. Ele não assume que é louco por aquela pessoa e sim a saudade dele que é. Isso é muito engraçado.

E na mesma música tem outra afirmação linda que diz, “e a velha frase que o tempo leve, era até breve não nunca mais”.

Aquela velha frase NUNCA MAIS, na maioria das vezes quer dizer ATÉ BREVE mesmo. E ainda bem.

Mas em determinadas situações, o destino nos tira essa chance. Nos priva de poder desfrutar melhor das formas de amor que muitas vezes nos são apresentadas.

E assim vamos perdendo tempo, amor, oportunidades de sermos felizes e principalmente oportunidades de dizer, ouvir e sentir essas trocas de amor.

Como eu queria aprender a ser menos dura e radical e poder viver intensamente todas as formas de carinho que se apresentam para mim.

Quando deparamos com a velha dona da foice é que dimensionamos o quanto somos pequenos e ridículos.

Essa sim é a forma definitiva nessa vida. A morte.

Esse é o verdadeiro NUNCA MAIS e PARA SEMPRE.

Esse texto, quero empregar como agradecimento e destinar a minha empresária Ana Sabugosa. Uma amiga guerreira que foi dedicação a mim, a sua profissão e a sua família, sem nenhuma restrição.

 

Rio de Janeiro, 15 de julho de 2007.

Lúcia Veríssimo

 

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