Assim como somos capazes de dizer não a um amor, somos também capazes de decidir abrir o coração e dizer sim a alguém que escolhemos.
Sabe, é uma questão de decidir mesmo.
Não somos escolhidos pelo amor ou por alguém. Escolhemos viver aquele sentimento com aquela determinada pessoa e pronto.
Fico impressionada, com o decorrer do tempo vivido, como é claro para mim, como somos donos absolutos de nossos desejos. Só nós mesmos é que traçamos aquilo que queremos.
Inclusive a escolha de ficar choramingando pelos cantos, certos de que somos preteridos, quando na verdade, nós é que decidimos a quem vamos amar, a quem vamos permitir chegar, a quem vamos abrir nossos braços e tudo o mais.
O processo de se vitimar é um dos mais ridículos.
Por que se tornar a presa se na real somos os caçadores?
Estou certa de que abri meu coração com toda a força para alguém entrar, mas nesse momento, estou mais certa ainda de que meu amor, só pertence a mim mesma e faço dele o que melhor me apraz, portanto, posso acordar amanhã livre desse amor e querendo outro em seu lugar.
Basta que decidamos.
Sei o quanto é difícil imaginar isso e acreditar nisso quando nosso alvo é alguém e esse alguém nos despreza.
O quanto é desanimador quando permitimos que nossa paixão fale mais alto que nosso sentido de preservação.
Mas como é uma delícia se deixar levar bem devagar por uma devastadora paixão.
Sentir seu calor aquecendo a pele fria bem de mansinho. A gente jogado ali, como numa manhã de primavera, bem cedo, numa praia deserta em que somente as gaivotas sejam eloquentes. Esse calor vai tomando tudo ao redor, da superfície mais exposta as camadas mais ocultas.
Como é bom sentir isso.
Sentir quando sua boca arde de secura e fria busca a saliva do seu amor, posto que esse é o único líquido esperado, augurado e bem devagar você vai sendo embebedado, embebedado, embebedado, até que tudo que te resta é o êxtase da embriaguez.
Como é bom sentir isso.
Olhar essa lua que está exposta em brasa largada nesse azulão profundo e sem que se espere – não, melhor que se espere sim, fica mais excitante – ser atropelado por uma respiração quente que vai chegar por trás, bem devagar e te arrepiar até o poro mais recôndito.
Como é bom isso.
Então não posso permitir nada menos do que isso.
E bem devagar vou aguardar por apenas mais um segundo você entender tudo que eu quero e depois disso, muito mais rápido do que entrei, vou sair com todo meu amor debaixo do braço a caça de alguém que esteja esperando sentir o mesmo que eu, bem devagar.
Porque bem devagar só é bom quando é dos dois lados.
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