Andei olhando essas minhas linhas em que não me escondo e pude acompanhar claramente, assim como todos vocês, os acontecimentos e olha que sem distanciamento.
Como estou contente de ter podido ser tão fiel ao que sinto.
Medo sempre existe, mas as descobertas são tão mais prazerosas e o encantamento se perfaz.
Perguntas nos assolam e respostam nunca acontecem.
“O que será: este labirinto de perguntas e resposta alguma, este insistente rugir de pássaros, este abrir as jaulas, soltar o bicho novelo que há em nós, delicado/feroz morder (deixa sangrar) o outro bicho (deixa, deixa) e toda esta parafernália a parecer truque enquanto obsidiante você mente embora acreditando nas mentiras e eu use os piores estratagemas para cobrir-me a retirada desse vicioso campo de batalha.” (Olga Savary)
O jogo contínuo do amor.
Esse solver o outro e delatar você. Esse passatempo a que nos propomos, apostando numa loteria sem fundos, lados, frente. Em cima, embaixo… esse deleite de inseguranças.
Quem de nós é tão seguro enquanto propõe se jogar num precipício, mesmo quando não resta outra saída e o fogo queima suas costas?
“Morro do que há no mundo: do que vi, do que ouvi. Morro do que vivi. Morro comigo, apenas: com lembranças amadas, porém desesperadas. Morro cheia de assombro por não sentir em mim nem princípio nem fim. Morro: e a circunferência fica, em redor, fechada. Dentro sou tudo e nada.” (Cecília Meireles)
Como acordei com vontade de voar. Quanto dimensionei o que vivi e me entreguei. Tão pouco recebi. Não queria nem as minhas nem as suas lágrimas, mas nesse caso, são inteiramente necessárias. Como dói quando percebemos isso, não?
É mesmo sempre um ciclo que se inicia e termina no mesmo lugar, passando pelas imagens e lugares mais distintos. Todo trem faz o mesmo itinerário e nunca os lugares são iguais. Então vale mesmo a pena viajar.
“E sou meu próprio frio que me fecho longe do amor desabitado e líquido, amor em que me amaram, me feriram sete vezes por dia em sete dias de sete vidas de ouro, amor, fonte de eterno frio, minha pena deserta, ao fim de março, amor, quem contaria? E já não sei se é jogo, ou se poesia.” (Carlos Drummond de Andrade)
As favas com o que pressinto. Ao inferno o que não me deixa revelar.
“Minha estrela não é a de Belém: A que, parada, aguarda o peregrino. Sem importar-se com qualquer destino A minha estrela vai seguindo além… — Meu Deus, o que é que esse menino tem? — Já suspeitavam desde eu pequenino. O que eu tenho? É uma estrela em desatino…
E nos desentendemos muito bem!
E quando tudo parecia a esmo E nesses descaminhos me perdia
Encontrei muitas vezes a mim mesmo… Eu temo é uma traição do instinto
Que me liberte, por acaso, um dia
Deste velho e encantado Labirinto ” (Mario Quintana)
E lá vou eu…
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