Poema Vinícius de Moraes, música Goran Bregovic, voz Lúcia Veríssimo
Hoje recebi de uma das minhas melhores amigas uma mensagem de texto afirmando nossa ausência uma da outra (estamos em cidades com 500 km de distância e vidas repletas de compromissos), mas me mandou um poema de Drummond que dizia assim:
” AUSÊNCIA
Por muito tempo achei que a ausência é falta
e lastimava, ignorante, a falta.
Hoje não a lastimo.
Não há falta na ausência. Ausência é um estar em mim.
E sinto-a tão pegada, aconchegada nos meus braços
Que rio e danço e invento exclamações alegres.
Porque a ausência, esta ausência assimilada,
Ninguém a rouba mais de mim.”
E me deu uma enorme vontade de escrever sobre a ausência.
Engraçado pensar na ausência como um preenchimento, mas pensando bem, estar vagando com alguém dentro de si é não estar sozinho, de fato.
São as lembranças, as imagens do que vivemos, o cheiro ainda sentido e os sons também ecoando profundamente nos labirintos da nossa cabeça.
Fico com a impressão que essa ausência toma de assalto os martelos de meus ouvidos e se põe a martelar aqueles gemidos e sussurros que não se deixam calar.
Como admitir esse caminhar cheio de sofreguidão como sendo invasão?
Não, Clarice tem razão, “saudade é como fome. Só passa quando se come a presença”.
Mas acabo de perceber que é aí que se tem que mergulhar, no entendimento de que estando pleno de uma ausência, se está acompanhado de uma escolha e que temos enfim, uma companheira que não nos abandonará.
Clarice me veio novamente dizendo:
“…Que minha solidão me sirva de companhia.
que eu tenha a coragem de me enfrentar.
que eu saiba ficar com o nada
e mesmo assim me sentir
como se estivesse plena de tudo.”
Mas ela também afirma
“Há momentos na vida em que sentimos tanto a falta de alguém que o que mais queremos é tirar essa pessoa de nossos sonhos e abraçá-la.”
E o que é a ausência senão um afastamento. E afastamento não pressupõe não existência e sim que alguma coisa pode vir, ou voltar, para mudar esse sentimento.
Então sigo preenchida de você que agora dentro de mim está, como um órgão a fabricar alegrias que me levem a conquistar espaços longínquos e viagens astrais de pura satisfação.
Quem sabe em outro tempo essa ausência faça em mim a presença ou que outra ausência me faça preencher mais espaços vazios de você.
“A Eterna Ausência
Eu aguardei com lágrimas e o vento
suavizando o meu instinto aberto
no fumo do cigarro ou na alegria das aves
o surgimento anónimo
no grande cais da vida
desse navio nocturno
que me trazia aquela com lábios evidentes
e possuindo um perfil indubitável,
mulher com dedos religiosos
e braços espirituais…
Aquela mulher-pirâmide
com chamas pelo corpo
e gritos silenciosos nas pupilas.
Amante que não veio como a noite prometera
numa suspensa nuvem acordar
meu coração de carne e alguma cinza…
Amante que ficou não sei aonde
a castigar meus dias involúveis
ou a afogar meu sexo na caveira
deste carnal desespero!…
António Salvado, in “A Flor e a Noite””
Aproveito também para homenagear uma ausência que nos preencherá de bons sons e nos deixará uma enorme lacuna no cenário musical, Whitney Houston
Lúcia Veríssimo, eu gosto muito de vc. Rezo para que tenhas saúde. Por mais que esteja ausente na minha vida, sempre terei a esperança de te dar um abraço e um Beijo. LOVE.
Bacharel Franciane…
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